Poor customer service is a pet peeve of mine. Whether it was the ten years in retail or just being a card carrying member of the human race, I loathe lazy, grumpy, insulting, angry, or childish customer service. Oh, and I the smug little signs that tell me, the customer, what to do, elicit the same visceral response.

Do I feel like I’m king or something? Maybe. I do feel like I’m in the lineage to the thrown. See, the market is going to handle this.
More and more, customers flock to retailers that treat them like… humans. For the first time in decades, real customer service is becoming a differentiator.

Owners, managers, and proprietors have a duty to empathize with their customers, and those who do, will not only live, they may get rich. So, you may prove your point about how dumb I am for looking on the wrong aisle for your product today, but I can assure you that the market will prove how dumb you are, soon enough. The roles have changed. When customers step into the retail store, they represent the market. They are the customer king.

So, listen up retailers:

• Guardians of the retail door who cast an evil stare as the customer walks through the door within 15 minutes of closing, you are lucky that I’ve chosen to walk into your store.
• Mrs. Big Box Retailer who treats department perimeters like battle lines–not to be crossed, I have come to your store to spend money, give a little extra.
• Barista princesses who frown upon my “medium” coffee-flavored coffee requests. There is no monopoly on coffee.
• You, whom I may despise the most, ever-important associate who is so inconvenienced by my presence. I’m wincing because I just used Amazon Flow to snap a pic of the item I came to purchase, and it will be here in the morning.

You see, while you were perched upon your thrown of retail authority, the war is essentially lost, your only differentiator from Internet retailing, which I mostly prefer, is your friendly smile and helpful attitude. Without that, I, the customer king, decimate you, not with a lance, but with my buying power in the shape of a smartphone.

But for you gracious, interested, and engaged people who are in the people business of retail, this is your opportunity. Shine. Love your job. Love your customers, and go out of your way to make them feel welcome. They chose you, and your very survival may depend on dazzling them.

Image from the US National Archive with unrestricted use.