We spend a lot of time crafting what we say, how we say it and how we act when we say it to build our reputation. The unsaid, however, may be the permanent echo of your character.

This morning I was thinking about the leadership style of my business partner. We are polar opposite. I walk into a room and if there is one second of silence, I fill it. Dan, on the other hand, is slow to act and cautious to speak. I process everything I think out loud and into the ears of innocent bystanders. Dan processes internally and returns with a well-reasoned, rational approach. We both bring benefits to people, but we are very different.

Dan may say the fewest words in a group, but typically the team carefully observes his reaction. Whether not laughing at an inappropriate joke or sympathetically smiling as someone bares their soul, he communicates resolve and predictability by consistently responding and reacting according to his constitution of values–using words when necessary.

While the following quote is often miscredited to St. Francis of Assisi, the concept resonates:

Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.

It resonates for me because our applied character is often expressed in our actions. We may say that gossip is wrong, yet we sometimes lend an ear to the water-cooler gossip. We may claim the virtues of faithfulness to our spouses, yet we can instantly raise suspicion with a little “innocent gawking.” We may proclaim the importance of professionalism, but then we laugh at one inappropriate joke and  instantly those around question all those proclamations.

People are always watching. Whether our kids, friends or co-workers, someone is always watching. The words that we say may build the perception that these people have of us, but one action can change all of that. Words and actions are both necessary, but one action can erase a thousand words.